Years ago, if you went to an adoption agency
seeking to adopt a child after having had
a child by birth, you were turned down. It
just wasn't done. It was thought that you
shouldn't mix the two—the children would
be too different, and the difference would
be insurmountable. Professionals advised against
it.
Of course, the reverse order of adding children
to a family was outside the control of adoption
agencies. A couple might adopt first, and
then have a biological child. That was their
own business. But you still didn't see many
families with both birth and adopted children.
Today, we see all kinds of combinations of
children in many kinds of blended families,
including families with children by birth
and adoption. Nowadays, adoption agencies
certainly place children with families who
already have biological children. In fact,
when agencies recruit adoptive families for
children with special needs, they look for
adults with parenting experience. It is considered
a plus. Birthparents who are given the opportunity
to select an adoptive family sometimes like
the idea that the child they are placing will
have a sibling, especially if they had positive
sibling relationships themselves—or always
wished for a sibling.
Since the National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC) (Note:
the NAIC has been replaced by the Child
Welfare Information Gateway) at http://www.childwelfare.gov/ receives
a number of requests for information on
families with children by birth and adoption,
we prepared this factsheet for prospective
parents to address the following concerns:
- What are your hopes and expectations about
siblings in a family?
- What are the particular issues associated
with raising children by birth and adoption
together?
- How can you minimize sibling rivalry?
- What are some resources available to help
parents?
Not much had been written on this subject
until recently, and a lot of what has been
written is anecdotal. This factsheet attempts
to synthesize what is available to help parents
who are considering blending birth and adopted
children or who already have created a family
in this way.
[back to top]
Before You Adopt
In the Clearinghouse factsheet "The
Sibling Bond: Its Importance in Foster Care
and Adoptive Placement," we discussed
how the sibling relationship can be the longest
lasting relationship that people have, lasting
even longer than the relationship with parents,
spouse, or children. That discussion was in
the context of advocating placing biological
siblings together in a foster or adoptive
family when removal from the birth family
is necessary. In thinking about creating a
family through birth and adoption, however,
it might be a good idea to focus on your own
experience with siblings, and your hopes and
expectations about siblings in a family.
In the book Siblings
Without Rivalry, authors Adele Faber
and Elaine Mazlish relate how, when they discuss
sibling issues with parents and teach them
skills to minimize sibling rivalry among their
children, the parents often reflect on their
own experiences growing up. Their place in
the family—oldest, youngest, or middle—figures
prominently in their memories. One woman's
mother always compared her unfavorably to
a more musically talented younger sister.
Another man's parents never protected him
from a bullying big brother. These individuals
had troubled adult relationships with their
siblings that were not necessarily the sibling's
fault. Often the people in Faber and Mazlish's
discussion groups would end a description
of the comparisons or the fights with their
siblings with the expression "To this day...
." One would say, "To this day I feel like
I have to be the responsible one." Another
would say, "To this day, I'm the peacemaker
in any disagreement." Thus, we know that sibling
relationships are very significant in people's
lives, and that parents have a lot to do with
how those relationships are perceived and
integrated into a child's sense of self.
This factsheet addresses the concerns of
families who have—or are considering
having—children by both birth and adoption.
As you will see, most of the information applies
both to cases where the adopted child is the
first to join the family and to those where
a birth child precedes an adopted child. First,
however, we consider those of you who are
thinking about adopting a child after you
have had a child by birth.
[back to top]
Thinking About Adoption
When You Have a Birth Child
There may be any number of reasons why you
are thinking about adopting now. Maybe the
first pregnancy happened easily, but the second
one isn't happening so easily. Maybe the first
pregnancy occurred only with the intervention
of costly and invasive medical procedures
that you do not want to go through again.
Maybe you have a humanitarian concern: you
have been fortunate to have one child by birth
and now you would like to provide a home for
a child already on the planet who needs one.
Perhaps you come from a big family and always
envisioned a home with lots of kids running
around, but biology seems to have provided
you with "only" one or two.
Whatever your thinking, there are some additional
questions to consider. (Some of these come
from the article "Completing the Dream" by
Joan Rabinor in the newsletter of Resolve:
The National Infertility Association.
- Can you love and bond with an adopted
child as much as you've bonded with your
biological child?
- You have a wonderful child. Why invite
trouble? (This may be other people's attitude
as much as yours. How will you deal with
this?)
- Will your extended family favor your biological
child?
- To what degree are you willing to accept
differences among your family members in
terms of ethnicity, physical traits, special
needs, and inherited abilities? How will
that differentness affect your other child?
(The Clearinghouse factsheet "Transracial
and Transcultural Adoption" may be helpful.)
- If you pursue adoption, are you giving
up on the hope of another pregnancy? Can
you seriously consider adoption while still
trying to get pregnant?
- Will you always wish you had tried a little
longer to get pregnant again?
- How much should you involve your child
in the preparation for adoption?
The first question, the one about bonding,
is very important. Your answer must be yes.
But a feeling of closeness does not necessarily
develop overnight. You will need to work at
it, particularly if you adopt an older child
who challenges you with difficult behavior,
or who turns out to be a person who is quite
different from you. And it can take a while
even with a baby. Your biological child will
watch your behavior and listen to the words
you express about how family members are adjusting
to one another. You will need to model acceptance,
love, and inclusiveness if you want your biological
child to start to feel those feelings, too.
The last question is significant as well.
Ordinarily when a couple is trying to get
pregnant again, they do not share that information
with an older child, nor do they ask for the
child's blessing. Usually parents know what
their child thinks about having more children
in the family. It is something that has come
up in conversation as they have observed friends
and relatives adding children to their families.
If you don't know how your child feels about
having a sister or brother around, you do
need to start talking about it. Because
adoption has so much activity associated
with it, it would be hard not to share the
process with your child. After all, a social
worker comes to your home, there is paperwork
to complete, there may possibly be a trip
to a foreign country in the planning stages
or a visit with people called birthparents,
and there is often a period of not knowing
whether a new child will or won't be coming
to the family. A child will sense that something
is going on with this activity surrounding
him, so you need to discuss it. The social
worker doing your home study will want to
know what you are doing to set the stage
for welcoming the new child, and if you
have thought about the sibling conflicts
that could possibly result. The more your
child is involved, the more likely he or
she will be invested in the outcome. Some
good hints specifically about adopting a
second time but that apply to any adoption
are presented in an article by Sharon
Kaplan Roszia of the Kinship
Center , "Adopting
Again: Talking to the Other Children in
the Home."
Answers to the other questions will be unique
to you and your situation. They depend on
what kind of dream you are completing. Are
you remembering how special your older brother
was for you and hoping to recreate that specialness
for a child in your family? Adoption might
achieve that, if you work at creating a family
culture that encourages cooperation and respects
all children's unique and intrinsic value,
no matter how they joined the family and what
talents or special needs they may have. Is
your dream to raise a bunch of athletes just
like you and your siblings, to continue the
family tradition of athletic achievement into
the next generation? That won't necessarily
happen with adoption. If that—or something
like that—is your dream, you may need
to hold back and reconsider. It is not fair
to heap expectations upon a child who may
have totally different abilities, either because
of genetics, the child's prenatal environment,
the child's early life experiences, or a combination
of these.
[back to top]
Some Help From Research
If you are wondering how children raised
in families with children by birth and adoption
adjust, the research studies, while small
in number, are encouraging. A study published
in the June 1985 Journal of Genetic Psychology
looked at 44 families with biological children
only, 45 with adopted children only, and 44
with both biological and adopted children.
The results indicate that adoptive placement
of a child in a mixed family does not affect
overall adjustment of the biological child
and may, in fact, have positive effects on
the adopted child.
David Brodzinsky and Anne Brodzinsky, well-known
and widely read adoption researchers, published
a study in the January-February 1992 issue
of Child Welfare called "The Impact
of Family Structure on the Adjustment of Adopted
Children." Psychological and academic adjustments
were assessed in a group of 130 adopted children,
6 to 12 years of age, living in five different
family constellations: only children, children
with younger adopted siblings only, children
with younger biological siblings only, children
with older adopted siblings only, and children
with older biological siblings only. Few differences
were found from one cluster to another, suggesting
that family structure, while complicating
the dynamics of adoptive family life, plays
a minor role in adoption adjustment.
A team of researchers in the Netherlands
conducted a study entitled "International
Adoption of Children with Siblings: Behavioral
Outcomes" that was reported in the April 1994
issue of the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry.
This study focused on the benefits to the
children when biological siblings are adopted
together, but one additional finding was that
the presence of step- siblings or children
already in the home did not appear to create
problems for the children studied, nor did
they run a higher risk of disrupted adoptions.
Other studies on transracial adoption have
similar results, such as Rita James Simon
and Howard Altstein's study, Adoption,
Race, and Identity: From Infancy to Young
Adulthood .
[back to top]
After You Adopt: Similarities
and Differences
Certain things are universal. It doesn't
take a research study to know that children
of certain ages and in particular developmental
stages act in certain ways and feel certain
things. It doesn't matter what social, genetic,
legal, or biological ties children have—the
people of their generation who share their
house feel more like sisters and brothers
than the people who don't share their house.
Children form sibling relationships before
they know who was born to the parents and
who was adopted.
Also, certain realities in child rearing
apply no matter how children come to be part
of a family. For instance, older kids generally
are more competent, are held to a higher standard,
and perhaps receive more privileges than younger
children. No matter how children join a family,
one is likely to be more talented in a particular
field of endeavor than another. No matter
how children join a family, girls are different
from boys, and usually girls share rooms only
with girls, and boys share with boys. And
no matter how hard parents work at promoting
cooperation, democracy, and fairness (which
in reality is an impossibility), children
in a family will vie for their parents' attention
and love. They will tease, fight, or take
advantage of one another in order to provoke
a reaction from their parents, but may also
protect and defend one another or work as
a team to please them. It seems we are all
built craving the exclusive love and attention
of our parents, and adding any more children
to the mix just automatically means there
is less for any one child. Thus, many issues
of birth and adopted children are just sibling
issues, plain and simple.
That said, there may be unique ways that
biological and adopted siblings apply the
basics of sibling relationships, using what
is available to get what they unconsciously
or consciously need at a given time. If adoption
is available, and it's a sensitive subject
known to get a rise out of a sibling or parent,
it could be used to tease the adopted child
or cause guilt in the parent. One child might
want to fit in with the crowd, and be upset
that his family is perceived as "different"
when they add a child of a different ethnicity
to the family; another child might think it's
cool to be nonconformist and happily soak
up the attention the family receives. One
child may think it's enriching to bring additional
relatives into the family circle through an
open adoption; another may feel it is threatening
to include strangers within the family's boundaries.
Let's look at the situations from two common
perspectives: either the adopted child feels
displaced and that the biological child is
preferred, or the biological child feels displaced
and that the adopted child is preferred. Perhaps
the biological child thinks that in his parents'
efforts to make the adopted child feel welcome
and part of the family, they have totally
ignored his genetic connections. He looks
just like Daddy and everybody used to talk
about that all the time; and now, because
the new brother doesn't look like either parent,
no one ever talks about the similarities—to
avoid hurting the new brother's feelings.
He's experienced the loss of all those warm
and fuzzy feelings that looking like Daddy
provided. In the second case, maybe the adopted
child feels left out because she knows she
was the only kid in the family who did not
come out of Mommy's womb. She has two other
parents out in the world and maybe some other
sisters and brothers that she doesn't know
anything about. The brothers and sisters that
she lives with can do their schoolwork better
because none of that stuff is ever on their
minds. Their grades are better, and Mommy
and Daddy like that. It's not fair.
You must acknowledge the difference between
your children by birth and adoption. Children
know if you are artificially making two different
things the same. They know they are different,
and if you pretend that they are not they
know you are lying. You must emphatically
send the message that though they joined the
family in different ways, each way is a good,
valid way, and you treasure and love them
all. You need to address the adoption issues
with your children through the years as is
developmentally appropriate (see, for instance,
the Clearinghouse factsheets "Adoption
and the Stages of Development" or "Explaining
Adoption to Your Child"), but not at the
expense of your children by birth.
In no family is it possible to portion out
the love, time, attention, gifts, clothes,
toys, and so on to each child exactly fairly.
You will experience continual frustration
and failure if you try. Sibling rivalry does
have some positive functions. The family is
a safe arena in which children can practice
social skills, work out problems, handle anger
and hurt, and work on the art of compromise.
It is a place for children to learn appropriate
responses in difficult situations before they
venture out into the larger community. However,
your ideal vision of "family" probably is
a peaceful, happy one, not a war zone. Even
though you have taken on an extra challenge
in giving your particular children some additional
ways to express their sibling rivalry, there
are some techniques that you can use to minimize
it.
[back to top]
Minimizing Sibling
Rivalry
Faber and Mazlish's book Siblings
Without Rivalry is an excellent resource.
If you are dealing with preschool, school-age,
adolescent, or even adult children who are
constantly teasing, bickering, and fighting,
get your hands on this book at a bookstore
or library and read it. It will empower you
enormously. The ideas in this section all
come directly from Faber and Mazlish's book.
Faber and Mazlish believe that parents can
create an atmosphere that fosters cooperation,
mutual respect, and caring between siblings.
Parents' reactions can reduce competition
and allow hostile feelings to be vented safely.
Parents' attitudes and words do have power,
and they can lead the adversaries toward peace
and perhaps to one day seeing one another
as a source of pleasure and support. Your
children may not ever be the best of friends,
even if that is what you are secretly hoping
for. But at least you can do your best to
help them become adults who will listen to
another person, respect the person's point
of view, respect the differences between them,
and resolve the differences peacefully, even
if the only solution is to agree to disagree.
The content of the boxes on the following
page is from material presented in Faber and
Mazlish's book. The boxes summarize extensive
discussions that we cannot repeat here and
that you can read for yourself. These boxes
at least give you an idea of the authors'
basic principles.
[back to top]
Nurturing a Shared
Family Culture
Adoption educator Patricia Irwin Johnston,
in her article "Sibling Attachment," suggests
a number of ways to promote a feeling of closeness
among siblings of any kind. One of these is
to "do all that you can to nurture a sense
of shared family culture." Two other adoption
educators, Lois Melina and Holly Van Gulden,
also speak about this concept. When there
are natural opportunities, find ways to emphasize
and comment on things that the family enjoys
together, such as silly songs, rituals, funny
stories, or favorite places. Remark on similarities
among family members. For example, when you
go out for pizza to the family's favorite
pizza restaurant, say "Boy, we sure all love
pizza!" When everyone bundles up and you assign
the various jobs involved in stringing up
the Christmas lights on the house, and the
neighbors pass by and say how nice they are,
say, "Yep, that's the Jones family tradition...we
always string the lights on December 15th."
Celebrate religious observances, holidays,
birthdays, anniversaries, and other special
days in your family's particular way that
will create lasting memories for your children.
One couple with a daughter by birth who subsequently
adopted a daughter established a day they
call "Sisters Day." They celebrate the day
the two girls became sisters with a cake after
dinner and the exchange of homemade gifts
the girls make for one another. This celebration
is held instead of an "Adoption Day" celebration
that calls attention only to the child by
adoption, and it is in addition to each girl's
birthday celebration.
Support and encourage any wholesome activity
you see your children engaging in together.
Even if they are conspiring against you, it's
a good sign that the sibling bond is going
in the direction you want.
One parent encouraged communication between
two college- age sons attending different
schools at opposite ends of the State by giving
them access to the parents' long distance
phone card. Of course they were lectured a
number of times about using the card only
for calls to one another and to the parents!
Conclusion
No matter how a child enters a family, each
must be loved and valued for who he or she
is. Loving each child exactly the same is
an impossibility. Children come into the world
with different talents, abilities, and characteristics.
Parents are bound to feel differently about
different children in a family for any number
of reasons, not just because they joined the
family one way or another. Parents can never
eliminate
ACKNOWLEDGE CHILDREN'S FEELINGS…
- Brothers and sisters need to have their
feelings about one another acknowledged.
- Give the child words that identify the
feeling. For example, to an angry brother
whose sister took something that belonged
to him: "You sound furious!"
- Give the child words that might identify
his wishes. "You wish she'd ask before using
your things."
…AND HELP THEM HANDLE THEM
- Children need to have their hurtful actions
stopped. You might say: "People are not
for hurting."
- Children need to be shown how to discharge
angry feelings acceptably. For example,
"Tell her with words how angry you are.
Tell her, 'I don't want you to take my things
without my permission.'"
- Suggest a symbolic or creative activity
to help him cope. "Would you like to make
a sign that says 'Private Property' and
put it on your closet door?"
Insisting on good feelings between children
can lead to bad feelings and behavior. Allowing
for bad feelings between children lets the
good feelings come in.
AVOID COMPARISONS
- Make a commitment to avoid all comparisons.
- If a child has done something you do not
like, there is no need to compare the behavior
to that of a sibling who behaves in a more
pleasing way. Simply describe the problem—what
you see or what you feel—and what needs
to be done.
- If a child behaves in a way that you like,
there is no need to let it be known that
another child does not behave that way.
Simply describe the good behavior—what
you see and what you feel.
- Make a commitment not to let anyone lock
a child into a role, not the parents, not
the child himself, and not brothers or sisters.
For example, no one is "the bully" and no
one is "the victim." No one is "the messy
one" or "the organized one." All children
are capable of all kinds of behaviors, and
though some may be more talented in certain
areas, all have the right to develop whatever
talent they have and are interested in to
the best of their ability.
GIVING UNEQUALLY IS OKAY
- Instead of trying to give equally to each
child, focus on each child's individual
needs.
- Show children how they are loved uniquely.
- Equal time can feel like less. Give in
terms of need. However, a self-reliant child
should not be shortchanged. Work at spending
quality time with each child.
- Children with problems do not have to
be viewed as problem children. They need
acceptance of their frustration; appreciation
for what they have accomplished, however
imperfect; and help in focusing on solutions.
WHEN CHILDREN FIGHT
- Acknowledge children's anger towards one
another.
- Listen to each child's side with respect.
- Show appreciation for the difficulty of
the problem.
- Express faith in their ability to work
out a mutually agreeable solution.
- If they seem stumped, offer one simple
suggestion.
- Leave the room.
WHEN FIGHTING HEADS TOWARD HURTING
- If an injury has happened before you get
to where the fight occurred, attend to the
injured party rather than the aggressor.
- Describe what you see.
- Establish limits.
- Inquire if this is a "play fight"—like
wrestling—or a real fight. Play fighting
is allowed only by mutual consent.
- Separate the kids.
WHEN CHILDREN CAN'T WORK OUT A PROBLEM BY
THEMSELVES
- Call a meeting of the antagonists. Explain
the purpose and the ground rules.
- Write down each child's feelings and concerns,
and read them aloud.
- Allow time for rebuttal.
- Invite everyone to come up with solutions.
Write down all ideas without evaluating.
- Decide upon the solutions you all can
live with.
- Follow up.
sibling rivalry, but they can minimize it.
They can try to create an atmosphere in which
each child's contribution to the family is
valued and nurtured, each child's needs are
met, and each child is encouraged to reach
his or her full potential. Parents can work
to create a shared family culture that encompasses
all family members and surrounds them with
love, respect, and security. All parents can
do is their best, and hope that positive,
satisfying sibling relationships will result.
Below is a bibliography of books and articles
for adults and children that touch on the
subject of birth and adopted siblings, and
a short list of relevant audiovisual materials.
Note: Several of the experts mentioned
in this article or whose publications are
listed in the bibliography speak and provide
workshops on this topic. For information on
how to get in touch with them, please contact
the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse.
Written by Debra G. Smith of the National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse, 1996.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
For Adults
Adamec, Christine. "Explaining
Adoption to Your Child." Rockville, MD:
National Adoption Information Clearinghouse
Factsheet, 1993, 13 pp.
Banks, Stephen P., and Michael D. Kahn. The
Sibling Bond. New York: Basic Books,
Inc., 1982.
Bernstein, Anne C. Flight
of the Stork: What Children Think (and When)
About Sex and Family Building, revised
edition. Indianapolis, IN: Perspectives Press,
1994.
Boer, Frits; Versluis-den Bieman, Herma J.M.;
and Verhulst, Frank C. "International Adoption
of Children With Siblings: Behavioral Outcomes,"
American Journal of Orthopsychiatry,
v64 n2, Apr 1994, pp. 252-62.
Brodzinsky, David M. and Brodzinsky, Anne
B. "The Impact of Family Structure on the
Adjustment of Adopted Children," Child
Welfare, v71 n1, Jan/Feb 1992, pp. 69-76.
Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine. Siblings
Without Rivalry. New York: W.W. Norton
and Company, 1987.
Frank, Elaine. "Adoption
and the Stages of Development." Rockville,
MD: National Adoption Information Clearinghouse
Factsheet, 1990, 14 pp.
Golden, Nancy and Schulert, Gretchen. "Why
Can't I Be Like my Sister?" (Part I), AdoptNews,
v7 n10, May 1996, pp. 9-10.
Hall, Beth. "Blended Families" in Parenting
After Adoption. San Francisco: Pact Press,
1994. Reprinted from Newsletter of Resolve
of Northern California, Sum 1992.
Hochman, Gloria; Feathers-Acuna, Ellen; and
Huston, Anna. "The Sibling Bond: Its
Importance in Foster Care and Adoptive Placement."
Rockville, MD: National Adoption Information
Clearinghouse Factsheet, 1992, 7 pp.
Johnston, Patricia Irwin. "Sibling Attachment,"
Pact Press, Sum 1996, pp. 15-17.
Melina, Lois R. "Parents
With Biologic and Adopted Children May Worry
About Partiality," Adopted Child,
v15 n3, Mar 1996, pp. 1-4.
Melina, Lois R. "Parents
Advised When and How to Tell Adoptees About
Birth Siblings," Adopted Child,
v12 n3, Mar 1993, pp. 1-4.
Melina, Lois R. "Pros,
Cons of Adopting During Infertility Treatment;
Pregnancy Can Raise Doubts About Decision
to Adopt", Adopted Child, v5 n6,
Jun 1986, pp.1-4.
Melina, Lois R. "Adoption
Messages May Confuse Biologic Child",Adopted
Child, v4 n11, Nov 1985, pp. 1-2.
Melina, Lois R. "Children
May Resent, Protect Handicapped Siblings,"
Adopted Child, v3 n4, Apr 1984, pp.
2-4.
Melina, Lois R. "Youth
Talk About Adopted Siblings; Kids Already
in Home React to New Sibling" ,Adopted
Child, v2 n11, Nov 1983, pp. 1-4.
Melina, Lois R. "Siblings
Need Help When Older Child Arrives," Adopted
Child, v2 n12, Dec 1983, pp. 1-4.
Quanty, Judy. "Sisters Day: Celebrating an
Arrival Day Anniversary Can Become a Family
Tradition," OURS, v23 n6, Nov/Dec 1990,
p. 32.
Rabinor, Joan. "Completing the Dream: Deciding
to Adopt When You Have a Biological Child,"
Newsletter of Resolve:
The National Infertility Association.,
v14 n4, Mar/Apr 1993, p. 6.
Rosenthal, Elisabeth. "Troubled Marriage?
Sibling Relations May Be at Fault." New
York Times, Aug 18, 1992, pp. C-1 and
C-9.
Roszia, Sharon Kaplan. "Adopting Again: Talking
to the Other Children in the Home," Pact
Press, v4 n1, Win 1995, pp. 7-8.
Schooler, Jayne. "Changing Roles," Adoptive
Families, v28 n5, Sep/Oct 1995, p. 45.
Siman, Rita James and Altstein, Howard. Adoption,
Race, and Identity: From Infancy Through Adolescence.
New York: Praeger, 1992.
Smith, Debra G. "Transracial
and Transcultural Adoption." Rockville,
MD: National Adoption Information Clearinghouse
Factsheet, 1994, 11 pp.
Ternay, Marilyn R.; Wilborn, Bobbie; and
Day, H.D. "Perceived Child- Parent Relationships
and Child Adjustment in Families with Both
Adopted and Natural Children," Journal
of Genetic Psychology, v146 n2, Jun
1985, pp. 261-272.
For Children
Bunin, Catherine and Bunin, Sherry, authors;
Welch, Sheila Kelly, illustrator. Is
That Your Sister? Wayne, PA: Our Child
Press, 1992.
Howe, James, author; Sweet, Melissa, illustrator.
Pinky
and Rex and the New Baby. New York:
Atheneum, 1993.
Pellegrini, Nina. Families
Are Different. New York: Holiday House,
1991.
Stein, Stephanie, author; Imler, Kathryn
A., illustrator. Lucy's
Feet. Indianapolis, IN: Perspectives
Press, 1992.
Wright, Susan, author; Louie, Bo- Kim, illustrator.
Real
Sisters. Charlottetown, P.E.I., Canada:
Ragweed Press, 1994.
Audiovisual Materials
"Blending Birth and Adopted Kids." Adoptive
Families of America conference workshop on
audiocassette. Available from Adoptive Families
of America, 2309 Como Avenue, St. Paul, MN
55108, (612) 535-4829 or (800) 372-3300, fax
(612) 535-7808. $7.00 plus $3.75 shipping
and handling.
NOTE: As of 2008, we believe
this video is no longer available from Adoptive
Families of America. There are 2 videos about
adoption made by Mr. Rogers and they are
available
here:
"Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" Adoption Programs
(VHS; 30 minutes each; 1985). Warmly done
with Fred Rogers' well-known sensitivity,
these two 30-minute shows help young children
to share the excitement of the folks in the
Neighborhood of Make Believe when they hear
about Mr. and Mrs. Jones' newly adopted baby.
The people in the Neighborhood talk about
how wonderful it is to have a new baby and
what makes a "real" family. Mr. Rogers also
shares his personal story about how he became
a brother when his parents adopted his sister.
Available by special arrangement with Family
Communications from Adoptive Families of
America, 2309 Como Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55108,
(612) 535-4829 or (800) 372-3300, fax (612)
535-7808. $12.95
NOTE: As of 2008, we believe
this video is no longer available. If we
are able to locate a soure, it will be posted
here..
"More Than Love" (VHS; 55 minutes; 1994).
A documentary that affirms adoption by sharing
intimate glimpses of families who have grown
up together through joys and pains unique
to adoption: fantasies, lingering grief over
infertility, living with biological traits,
sibling rivalry, search wishes and fears,
how and when to talk openly about adoption,
and more. Helps adoptive parents deal with
their children at various stages of development.
Includes a 32-page guidebook for adoptive
parents. Available from Bethany Productions,
901 Eastern Ave. N.E., Grand Rapids, MI 49503-1295,
(800) 613-3188, fax (616) 224-7432. $49.95
plus $2.50 shipping and handling.
For more information, contact the Child Welfare
Information Gateway (formerly the National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse) at info@childwelfare.gov.
